A client of mine told me recently that she was often negative in her thinking, and that she wanted to be a more positive person, have more enthusiasm and confidence, and be more motivated in her life. I spoke to her about how she had it in her to achieve these things, that she could, and indeed was already, the person she wanted to be – as we all are the person we want to be – but that our emotions can get in the way, along with our reciprocal thinking style, self-limiting beliefs and behaviours.

To test this out we can try the following development exercise:

πŸ‘©β€πŸ”¬ Write down a list of attributes/personal characteristics you aspire to and would like to have, e.g. to be positive, confident, calm, easy-going, assertive, sociable, compassionate, curious, empathic etc. 

Once you’ve done that, look at the list again to see who you truly are. You maybe possess some/most of the characteristics already, but for those you don’t have (yet) or don’t have enough of, it’s our emotions, and resultant thinking style that can get in the way – along with unhelpful beliefs and behaviours – of us being who we really are.  

(There may be environmental factors at play here too: our personal situation, health, relationships, for example. These factors may make change doubly difficult).

Question: Which desired attribute/characteristic of yours would you like to work on (first)?


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