What Frame Of Mind Are You In?

The parents/carers amongst you may well have come across a book for small children entitled 'Bethy Wants a Blue Ice Cream'. As the title suggests, and from memory, it's about a little girl who is adamant that she wants a blue ice cream from the ice cream van on a hot day. Her parents try to explain that there's no such thing as blue ice cream - not from this ice cream van anyway - but she's insistent, and won't take 'no' for an answer. What to do? To the rescue comes a helpful policeman, who gives Bethy his blue sunglasses to put on, and 'hey presto', her vanilla ice-cream becomes blue. Phew!

I'm using this as an example of how we interpret what happens to us/the world around us/how we feel about ourselves - via our core beliefs - through filters such as Bethy's borrowed sunglasses, only these filters have been collected through our upbringing, life experiences, environment, genetic disposition and so on. Some may be helpful, some may not. (And if these core beliefs do lead to unhelpful ways of thinking/thoughts and feelings, we can do something about it, as follows). This leads me on to look at how these beliefs can influence our frame of mind, and how in turn, this is going to dictate how we interpret our day-to-day experiences, and how we feel about and react to what happens to us. Our frame of mind can also be a predictor of how well or badly things go for us, since if I'm in a helpful frame of mind, things are more likely to go well for me, I can deal with things more easily and overcome difficulties. So if you find yourself

- feeling 'stressed'

- beating yourself up when you make a mistake

- being overly negative

- getting irritated or annoyed with the little things

- getting things out of proportion

it can be helpful to stop for a moment, and identify and acknowledge it if you ARE in an unhelpful frame of mind. (I do acknowledge too that we can have life situations/events that make it very difficult for us to be in a helpful frame of mind!!). 

Unhelpful-----------------------------------------------------Helpful

Frame of Mind Scale

Whether this is a core belief issue, or just something that crops up now and then - "Gimme a break, I'm just having a bad day!!!" - if you find yourself more over to the left than you'd like to be or feel you should be, acknowledge it and identify it as a first step to doing something about it. Whichever it is, don't give yourself a hard time over it, you are only human, and we all get things wrong sometimes. 

Having taken that first all-important step, let's start both thinking and behaving in ways that make it more likely that we'll be in a helpful frame of mind in the first place. Why not take a look and download if you’d like a copy of our Top Ten Tips for promoting wellbeing and preventing and managing stress. We have a 'Thinking Skills' questionnaire too that you can use just to assess how you match up/to encourage you to be aware of keeping things in perspective. 

Stress Management Plus run group training sessions and one-to-one coaching sessions designed to support individuals to manage pressure and challenging situations and to develop and maintain resilience. We’re based in Reading in Berkshire, and cover the whole of the UK. If you’d like to know more, please call Marc Kirby on 0118 3283246 or contact him via email.  

We're helping organisations (see our client list) to save money every day, just in reducing sick absence costs and the costs of under-performance.

Get in touch now to start doing the same for your organisation today. Here are some example case studies demonstrating the benefits of investing in wellbeing.

Enter your name and email address to subscribe to our Newsletter
Contact Name:
Email Address:

Why it's OK to send
restaurant food back

If you want to have a
good time, ask a
Buddhist

Stop yourself worrying
and feeling stressed at
work.......

Do we really need
therapy?

Quality sleep 'better for
wellbeing than 50 per
cent more cash'

Why cold showers are
all the rage

There is no such thing
as the true self, but its
still a useful
psychological concept

Why so serious? The
untapped value of
positive psychology 

Documenting three good
things could improve
your mental well-being
at work

How to manage the
thoughts you just can't
shake

Creating a climate of
psychological safety in
the workplace

Positive neuro-
science: 3 ways to 
wire your brain

Struggling to be
productive at work? Take
a neuroscientist's advice

Human Nature Abhors
A Vacuum, Too

Bad jobs 'can be worse
for health than
unemployment'

We are what we say: how
thoughts and speech
shape our wellbeing

Hot yoga classes reduce
emotional eating and
negative thoughts

The Psychologist guide
to healthy living

Minds run free: running
for psychologists

10 ways that running
changes your mind and
brain

Working from home isn't
ruining your social skills

Actually, we can buy
happiness

Just Smelling Food Could
Make You Gain Weight

When Stress Makes You
Fall Asleep

Sometimes Not Working
Is Work, Too

How to be extremely
productive without
getting extremely
exhausted

Our senses can't learn
under stress

How a napping subway
commuter's brain knows
when it's their stop

The best way to manage
your social anxiety is to
accept it

Why does time seem to
speed up as we get older?

5 Reasons Its So Hard To
Think Like A Scientist

Meditation alters stress
genes: study

How to maintain your
emotional wellbeing
during tragic news events

'I am not naturally
magnetic': can you
learn how to be
charismatic?

Bored? Now you know
why

Think you're self-aware?
Think again

Do you have any idea
what other people think
of you?

How food can improve
your mental health

Why bad moods are
good for you: the
surprising benefits of
sadness

Are you getting enough
sleep?

Want to live twice as
long? Meditation might
help

How is coaching different
from other professions?

Does ignorance have an
upside?

10 Ways That Running
Changes Your Mind And
Brain

What I discovered after
using a standing desk
for 1 year

10-Minute Mindfulness
Meditation To Reduce
Stress

Neurogenesis: An
Overview

Get Happy: Four
Well-Being Workouts

Learning is all about
biology

Can science explain why
I'm a pessimist?

Five steps to improving
grit and resilience

When good advice is best
ignored

Are you a defensive
pessimist?

5 ways to help build
resilience

Think less, think better

Negative emotions are
key to Well-Being

Copyright Stress Management Plus

SiteWizard.co.uk Web Site Design Company - eCommerce Software Shopping Cart Solutions